vividness of crowds

Yesterday was long. In the morning, I wrote for a little bit before my classes. The first meeting of the CSREA Fellows cohort, the first meeting of my literary memoir class, and then another class, and a flurry of scheduling emails. At night, dinner with S which was lovely and restorative. Cocktails and prosecco. Fancy truffles on the tiniest, most charming plates. She is someone who knows how to make every gathering into an event — elegant, thoughtful, celebratory.

I am trying to find ways to focus and simplify my days, but the pace is relentless. Already, again. There is little time, it seems, even for despair. I am restless. I need more, I need beauty, wonder. Replenishment. I need the richness of experience, texture, color, sound. Museum shows and travel and concerts. The vividness of crowds. Restaurant bars and house parties. Poetry readings, awkward chatting with strangers. I miss it all. All work and no play, and all that.

I suppose I could try harder. But that is for another day.